Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Thoughts - characters that once were

The critique of my 1/3 went well. The areas where I had the most problems were extremely noticeable. At first I dreaded it, not used to sharing my work with anyone - photo or writing. But I realize how important it is. I cannot see my flaws and I need another opinion. Needless to say, I was satisfied, I jotted down notes and now have it paper-clipped to my 1/3 - more fleshing out is needed.

I think my biggest concern is running out of steam - well it's more of my husband's worry than mine. But i can feel it sometimes. I don't know what great race I am trying to win but I was joking with my friend, "They owe me 5 years worth of back rent, it's time for them to go!" I think I just want them down, they've lived with me for nearly 15 years, these characters, I know everything about them. Sadly, I know more about them than I do about myself.

I think it's because I am forgetting. I had a couple of blood clots a few years ago and after that - I've forgotten a lot. Thank my stars that i write things down and my memory is able to be somewhat jump started but there are things and people and instances where I am clueless. I've ran into old classmates whom I just stare at like "Who the hell are you?" and these people remember me clearly. It happened right after the hospital, an old classmate named Sean, I ran into hum at a video store in Jupiter and I could not tell you who he was. It wasn't until hours later when i had a flashback of him breaking my apples in half with his bare hands.  I've kicked myself in the ass everyday because I remember the look on his face when he realized that I had no clue who he was. Heartbreaking, indeed.

I've sent away 2/3 to this dear friend. I hope one day to repay her kindness. Now I am trying to flesh out 3/3/ I told her, it's not going to be done now, after all of her critiques, i will go back and rework it even more. I described it like an oil painting, you build up from the darks to the lights.

I am happy to hear that my characters - once based off of people we both knew - still have the same energy but are completely their own person. It was the greatest compliment I could have heard. Cookie cutter characters were not what I wanted but I want to look back thirty years from now and remember who they started out as. Unbenounced to them, maybe this was how I viewed them. ;-) Or maybe, this was how I wished they were.

I had a whole different direction for this entry. Oh well. Another time.