Thursday, October 27, 2011

Selfish people = more fuel for my world

Living back here in southeast Florida has only ONE advantage; I am surrounded by the most vilest, selfish, rudest human beings alive. How is this a plus? Well at first it was difficult to see how this can be beneficial to me. I was brought up to say 'please, thank you, yes sir/ma'am' and most importantly, take responsibility for my actions. Something which NOBODY does down here.

So, as I and a student was about to be hit in the street because someone did not want to yield for pedestrians (which really scared the begezzesus out of her), I suddenly realized that not even human life is sacred in this region too...how horrible. I am surrounded by monsters. Real life monsters.

Last night, while my husband and I was driving to Target, I was telling him how much I am finding myself hate people more and more. And the thought really scared me. I told him that my dream was to live as a hermit anyways but now more than ever, knowing that a serial rapist is running around the street behind my neighborhood at night, people cuss at you for doing something good, I cannot even get a since smile out of nobody for giving them a compliment or being polite. I wondered, "what happened to people?"

My life sucks too. A lot. But what good is it going to do to sit around and be negative and start treating people like dirt under my feet? I feel even worse for my husband who is an immigrant. He was taught integrity and morals, something which he is slowly realizing does not exist here.

Wow, integrity...it even took me a while to remember that word.  

So how is this useful to me? well, since I have very few people where to whom I can vent at, I use my story to do so. I worked so hard to create the world of my humanoids that I forgot to flesh out the world of the humans. So nice to know that I do not need to look very far to create what I was trying to aim at. I see its example every single day. It was once really hard to come up with the human aspect of this world when i lived in another region of Florida where people actually said, "good morning" and if your car broke down, people stopped to help you. I could not imagine what monsters were like.

10 minutes until work again.

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Forgetting the Tree

So before I head off into some writing for this afternoon, I wanted to continue this thought about forgetfulness.

Last night, I was finishing up some plot stuff. My heroine receives a gift of a human. Someone whom my ruler prays will help her calm down before she does something like burn the capital to the ground. This person is Taoist and is supposed to show her the Way. (Yes, I spent 4 years researching Taoism and chose it over Buddhism because I enjoyed more the principles it teaches. I have a folder full of notes on it.) BUT when i wrote these notes for this scene five years ago the ONLY thing I had written was "Charlotte receives Sifu from Richard - 'The Tree That Will Sacrifice Itself' "

..... I have no freaking clue what "The Tree That Will Sacrifice Itself" means and it is driving me crazy. I have forgotten things along the way. It is VERY annoying like you cannot believe. So now what does one do?

Simple, just redo what this person will teach my heroine. In a way it is better because she had changed so much over the years and at least this way, maybe she will absorb it better. She's a bit obstinate and sometimes she won't even listen to me. Ah, dames!

So some funny stuff. So I have this torture hold run by these centuries old beasts and it's out in the Mediterranean Sea closer to the south edge of France. I decided to call it by it's french name but since i do not speak french, I used one of my language dictionaries that I take with me abroad (They mostly speak French in the French part of Switzerland) and since the French alphabet is weird for me, I used a speaking bot to sound it out.

I had it said the name of the fortress and my guinea pig, Tiny, who is in the cage at the other end of the room began to purr. I did not think much about it and trying to learn how to say it correctly myself i played it a couple of times more. Every time, Tiny purred. I called my husband and had him listen to Tiny when she hears the French phrase. We were laughing hysterically. So our rat chatters to Yiddish and our guinea pig purrs to French. So cute...