I turn 30 today. One would not think that a number can be so important. but it's not only a number, it's a reminder of where you are in life.
Today made me think of Xmas 2007. That year I had just moved into my apartment, I finally had unpacked and was proud of where I had been and how far I had come. But also, that year, I was alone for the holidays. I had $9.87 in the bank which was enough to buy me a small piece of deli ham, a sweet potatoe and a slice of cheesecake from Target - my Yule dinner. I had no internet yet, and drove 20 minutes to the nearest Kinkos to realize that even they close. I remember how the streets of Tampa seemed so quiet on Christmas Eve. Christmas Day was even quieter.
But even though I was alone and it was mildly depressing, it doesn't compare to today. Looking back, that was the best holiday I ever had. I caught up on sewing projects, watched old VHS that I had not seen in years (I also had no cable), worked on my book (probably the first time I pulled it out in 2 years) and enjoyed my little library that I created from the predesignated dining room area. I sat out on that massive balcony and drank tea, listening to the rustling of the oak trees while the radio played Christmas tunes in the background.
That calmness and tranquility was something I had sought for and finally found.
Today, I am far from that balcony. My library sits in boxes in a storage unit. I live in an 8x10 box where no music or singing is allowed. And I work part-time at minimum wage. I AM happy to have a job. A very good one, in fact. I AM lucky to not be homeless but its not where I ever imagined myself at the age of 30.
My birthday greetings mostly came in the form of SPAM bots and automatically generated messages instead of people. I did get one early Bday wish from a friend. Thank you. This year I received two cards - one from my aunt and the other from my mother. My sister called yesterday and got the boys to wish me a Happy Birthday. Even though Aiden thought it was his birthday all over again. :)
Well, Happy Birthday to me. Welcome to the age where the younger coworkers think you are snobby and not hip and you are too young for the older coworkers to take seriously. :/
Today made me think of Xmas 2007. That year I had just moved into my apartment, I finally had unpacked and was proud of where I had been and how far I had come. But also, that year, I was alone for the holidays. I had $9.87 in the bank which was enough to buy me a small piece of deli ham, a sweet potatoe and a slice of cheesecake from Target - my Yule dinner. I had no internet yet, and drove 20 minutes to the nearest Kinkos to realize that even they close. I remember how the streets of Tampa seemed so quiet on Christmas Eve. Christmas Day was even quieter.
But even though I was alone and it was mildly depressing, it doesn't compare to today. Looking back, that was the best holiday I ever had. I caught up on sewing projects, watched old VHS that I had not seen in years (I also had no cable), worked on my book (probably the first time I pulled it out in 2 years) and enjoyed my little library that I created from the predesignated dining room area. I sat out on that massive balcony and drank tea, listening to the rustling of the oak trees while the radio played Christmas tunes in the background.
That calmness and tranquility was something I had sought for and finally found.
Today, I am far from that balcony. My library sits in boxes in a storage unit. I live in an 8x10 box where no music or singing is allowed. And I work part-time at minimum wage. I AM happy to have a job. A very good one, in fact. I AM lucky to not be homeless but its not where I ever imagined myself at the age of 30.
My birthday greetings mostly came in the form of SPAM bots and automatically generated messages instead of people. I did get one early Bday wish from a friend. Thank you. This year I received two cards - one from my aunt and the other from my mother. My sister called yesterday and got the boys to wish me a Happy Birthday. Even though Aiden thought it was his birthday all over again. :)
Well, Happy Birthday to me. Welcome to the age where the younger coworkers think you are snobby and not hip and you are too young for the older coworkers to take seriously. :/
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